Monday, July 31, 2006

p.dreddy update for the morbidly curious
>is there an insomniac update?after a was written off "for tax purposes" in less than 2 years. 950copies were effectively thrown in the garbage, if i'm to 'go on hisword'. (that's 17 thousand dollars worth of paper, as far as i'mconcerned. -- and i'm not wrong. it is. -- and this is your wastedtaxmoney, people!) and how much actual o so expensive warehouse spacedo you really think was saved by this act? if it is your job to taketaxpayer money and with that "free money" publish books, should younot also make provisions for the storage of the 10, 12 boxes thosebooks come in? -- or am i just really reckless in my thinking here?(cos i've been known to be reckless... i'm a poet. isn't that my job?i think it is. and so here i am, living it... i am my ideasincarnate.)this waste is the problem with the many welfare-cases in the arts.and a good argument against state subsidized culture in this toowealthy country (what i like to call "government art", which ismostly ALL BAD anyway: a quick perusal of the other titles ininsomniac's stable would bear this out.) far too many of the peoplewe are giving our money to are spoiled ingrates, no more, no less.consequently the money they are given is shamelessly squandered, andin so doing there is no accountability, no records, no culture, nonothing in the end but legal loopholes engineered to cover thesebusiness-maggots' asses and, of course, more garbage. this seems alltoo typical for canada, just like mcain's frozen pizza. its shit, itsbad for you and all you are left with is a bunch of garbage in theend; garbage and regret. i know i wouldn't run my business that way.but we can't all be consummate professionals, can we? just some ofus. meanwhile, mcain frozen pizzas are widely available in yournearest frozen food section. -- get 'em while they're hot and eatthem and die !i went to the offices on spadina tail end of november. at that time,it was admitted there were 177 copies left, from a run of 1500.needless to say, nil in the way of any official verification thatthese books WERE pulped and not actually sold. in other words, THEREARE NO RECORDS (?) mike, it would seem, just makes notations and thenguesses at the stock quantities remaining. its very very sloppy. andone hard shove from a jaded motherfucker like me would bring hiswhole house of cards down. its a case of a tank against a toothpick.and i'm the tank, make no former mentor has already advised me to go ahead and kill thepress off. ("kill insomnia" has been my pet slogan, as of late -- andits true, i mostly don't sleep well... however, i am going to makesome t-shirts and buttons... anyone want one?)i don't know that i'm actually mean enough to do it, to outright killsomething that is another person's lifework. (one of the nicestpeople you will ever meet, my favorite refrain...) although i amcapable of hurting people, i mostly don't want to. -- even those whowould hurt me, when you get right down to it. what a suckass am i. myweakness is here part of the of the many things said from my end in our meeting was that "thisbook is still really only beginning." i told him about your recentinterview, kevin, with the link to his website. i told him about therecent article on this book in open letter. i told him that i was intown because i had just been anthologised and was here to read at thelaunch (and one of the cels from p.dreddy was now canonized, sorta.)i didn't tell him about my new book coming out in a few months costhat's none of his business. but i did say this book was still onlygetting started. cos it is.and he scoffed at me when i said that. -- well, smartface, we shallsee about that, won't we?meanwhile, in december, it was admitted that the 177 remaining copiessomehow shrunk down to 143. ? ! ?seems there was a course adoption of p.dreddy at the alberta collegeof art and design -- (imagine, lil ol me being taught in school? inever even went to school, proof positive that those fuckingpuppymills ARE overrated, but again i digress...) so, my worthlessart-garbage earned that stupid stupid man 740 dollars in the exactsame month he scoffed at me when i told him the book was onlybeginning. some people just don't know what side their bread isbuttered on.anyhow, something must've sunk in at some point in all of this, cosnow i'm being made offers to settle... out of court.i want something. that much should be obvious. i worked very veryhard on this project. i carried this little book with me for yearsand years and years and it was not easy to make and it was not easyto publish and it took a long time and there were so many fuckinghurdles along the way its nothing short of a wonder that it gotprinted at all -- and then along comes this small insignificantinsect of a man who has done nothing in his life but gets free moneyfrom the government to do just that and its somehow his job to printthe thing -- that's all -- and for not very satisfactory reasons hetreats me and my efforts like some flyer you get free with yournewspaper and kills the whole thing off and acts surprised thatanyone might have the gall to call him out for doing so.what the fuck ?so now he's offering me something, but i'm undecided if its you take what you can get when its offered or do you hold out forwhat you really think you're worth? -- decide. time's ticking...i am a patient boy. i know what i'm worth. -- there is, after all, only one me.whether or no we get what we're worth in this life has nothing to dowith what we are worth. there's the rub. but remember that, all ofyou."its a good life if you don't weaken."


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